So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
