Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
