i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
