This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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