i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
