we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
