i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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