After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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