I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
