so explain again why im purple
no
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
