Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
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The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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