I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
well most of my day revolves around power hour
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
