should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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