peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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