I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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