Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
well you can't waste a boner
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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