my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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