Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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