so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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