YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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