I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
