yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
