Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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