This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize