he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you traded sex for a burrito?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
