so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I love you.
Bad choice
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
