Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
