the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
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His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
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I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Pants are for mortals
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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