The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So much Jack, so little girl.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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