I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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