I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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