One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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