Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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