I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Holy sore nipples Batman
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
