either way he was missing a nipple.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Couch. On fire.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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