I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
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