had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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