i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
