Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
