He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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