carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
