Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
