508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
