just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I need moral support for this bender
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
