Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
