there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
wow bdsm is so cute
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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