I look better un-naked...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize