I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Randomize
