i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
