why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
