Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
