O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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