who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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