I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
