she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You are a booty call, not a friend.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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