Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
