were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
