3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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