Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
